December 2011
Dude.
One of my guests just tipped me $20 to hook her up with a glass of wine.
I’ll drink to that.
“Take her out—wine and dine her and hopefully she’s not on the rag.”
– Sarah, my co-worker, to a guest inquiring how to entertain his visiting wife.
Do you think opportunity ever really does knock twice? I mean that sincerely. Sometimes I think about my boyfriend. We pretty much got together immediatly after I left someone else, which sounds terrible, but I’d had my eye on Mike for months, and he me. I saw what I thought was my only chance to get to know him, so I took it, and here we are six months later. The timing was incredibly,...
I get overwhelmingly bored when my boyfriend and friends are at work. Short of reading, and even that gets old after a few hours, I have no idea how to entertain myself anymore. My bedroom’s cleaner than clean, my laundry is done, I already had work today, I don’t really watch tv. What is there to do!?
Is there nothing but to complain until another human being comes into my day to...
Omg.
Movies are so fucking retarded.
Man on a Ledge?
It’s just a man.
Who refuses to leave a ledge.
You know what I say?
Fuck ‘im!
Dude can stand on that ledge all he wants for all I care!
How is that a movie???!!!
Black Eyed Peas stuck in my head.
What terrible injustice did I do to deserve this?
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Mike: I'm just sitting in the living room reading Kitchen Conf. and wearing my North Stars hat.
Me: You're the best.
Mike: You got both of these treasures for me, so I do believe that you are, in fact, the best.
Me: Okay, I'll give ya that one.
Mike: Wow, you'll give me that as well? You really are the best!
me before writing: wow this is going to be terrible
me while writing: wow this is terrible
me after writing: wow that was terrible
I miss my bookshelf.
It was my pride and joy of my bedroom. It was always the most organized and cared for area. When we moved my parents threw it out. In 1/4 of their defense, it was painted three different colors and twenty years old. But it was my bookshelf!
Now I just have this box full of books and cool nik-naks but nowhere to display them.
:(
Does anybody know a cool makeshift way I...
“My arms around you
and your legs tangled in mine.
This, is where I’m home.”
– Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson
This little girl was at our fronk desk at the hotel today, she was reaching for one of the cookies we baked and said to her dad, ‘Daddy, how many days until Christmas again?’. And he said, ‘364, sweetheart’.
I couldn’t even handle the cute.
“I have a girlfriend and trust me, you’re better off jerking off into a napkin...”
– Jim Norton
Also,
I just sore-loser resigned from a game of Words With Friends for the first time. I’m not proud of it, but the frustration and amount of times I found myself saying ‘Fucking dick’ aloud were just not worth maintaining my mostly anonymous Zynga account dignity.
Judge away. I regret nothing.
The kicker for the Buffalo Bills is staying at my hotel and he just brought my co-worker and me some crunch wrap supremes, they are hitting the spottt.
Now I just need a beer and not to be at work.
“Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whiskey and drive fast on empty streets...”
– Hunter S. Thompson
I’ve been so absolutely spoiled the past few days.
First off, I’ve gotten to almost consistantly spend the past five days with Mike. We went out to our bar on Tuesday and Wednesday, on Thursday night we went to dinner with his dad and his dad’s girlfriend, on Friday night we unsuccessfully tried to go ice skating, but instead ended up spending the night at my house, on Saturday...
Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline.
That’s damn adorable.
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Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin’ Eagles, man!
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I am very excite for the upcoming weekend.
I work Friday 1-9, then I’m done for the holiday. I think after work that night, Michelle and I are going to get all ripped up on wine and exchange gifts, then go do our normal Friday night routine, which includes going to several bars.
On Saturday, Mike and I are gonna try to score a pair of tickets to the Bills game. I’m sure it’ll...
Listening to Third Eye Blind was a bad idea.
My best friend is headed down a really destructive path. I don’t even know where to start listing the utterly foolish things he’s been up to. I guess going from bad to worse, he no-call-no-show quit his job, started doing drugs again, is having disgusting amounts of anonymous gay sex, got into a drug/alcohol-influenced car accident, lost...
Note to self:
When you start off a text at two in the morning with, ‘Not at all in a weird way, but’, you should know that, in a fit of horrible, drunk irony, you now look weird as shit.
